« Regarding Age of Conan’s Early Start… | Home | Random Bytes - May 31st »
Ennui, Inspiration, Soul-searching, Adversity, and Life
By Cameron Sorden | May 29, 2008
I’m again going to take some liberty, deviate from my usual topics on gaming, and talk about myself for a post. It’s my blog, after all. If I want to write a startlingly honest, definitely meandering, excessively long, and totally off-topic post about my personal life, it may as well be here. I do have a secret, personal blog that only my close friends and family read, but if I write there, I only get support and commiseration — not a real forum to vent what I’m thinking and work through my thought process, which I really, really need to do right now.
For the last week or so, I’ve had two major problems: first, I haven’t really felt like playing any videogames, and second, I’ve been almost totally uninspired to write about videogames. For a normal person, this wouldn’t be a problem. “Another fantastic Wednesday,” they might say, happily sipping their coffee. But it’s a real issue for me. I’ve been writing about games on a consistent basis for long enough that having absolutely nothing to say about them is troubling for me, nevermind the fact that I’ve committed myself to (and am currently living off of) a 3-5 articles/week posting schedule. It’s not even that I have nothing to say about them. I have two whole columns of article ideas from times when I was more inspired and writing down ideas so fast that I had to erase the bad ones to make room for good ones — that’s largely what I’ve been forcing myself to write from for the last few articles. The problem is that I just don’t feel like writing about games, which is totally weird for me. I always have something to say about games. I’m looking at my list right now, and I can pick out at least four topics that I know I could spin 1000-1500 words out of, no problem. I’m just totally uninspired and unmotivated to do so. I keep starting an article, writing two paragraphs, and getting stuck.
Normally I would assume that this was just a normal phase of burnout, like I’ve gone through before, and that when I start playing again, I’ll start easily writing again… but I worry that maybe it’s more than that. Well, maybe “worry” is the wrong word. It’s more like I’m trying to figure out where I stand and what I want. Not just now, but out of life. The last month has been pretty crazy for me. I’ve graduated from college and started seriously job hunting in the business world at the same time that my videogame blogging finally blossomed into a paid writing gig. I think that’s really great. I mean, talk about opportunity. I get paid to write a column on videogames while I have the time and opportunity to look for a full-time job (during which I fully intend to continue writing if I can). I’ve really enjoyed both blogging and writing my column at Massively. What more could I really ask for? But something’s bugging me.
I keep thinking about the article I wrote a few weeks ago about putting raiding on your resume. When I wrote that article, I have to admit that I genuinely believed that that was a good idea. At the very least, I didn’t really think it would hurt your job prospects to include it, barring any other experience. I expected some controversy, given the topic, but I was astounded at the response. So many people were so vehement that it was a bad idea. After reading all of people’s responses (all over the web), and having a lengthy discussion on the topic with Kendricke, I realized that it really didn’t matter what skills you might be able to actually develop or practice as a result of gaming (if any), or whether those skills were practical in a business environment. The primary problem involved in placing gaming on your resume is that your very status as “a gamer” instantly calls your qualifications, abilities, and assumed social status into question, as far as “polite society” is concerned.
This realization bothered me immensely. It made me really think about how compartmentalized my mindset probably is, and about how little I actually probably understand the opinion of someone who doesn’t play games and who isn’t interested in games (because honestly, I haven’t ever cared before). I never really think about people who don’t like my hobby. But clearly, people don’t like “gamers.” All you see, all over the web and media, and even from game writers themselves, is how “fringe” gamers are — how we don’t have real lives, how we’re obsessed with fantasy worlds, how we can’t shake our computer addictions, and how our loved ones suffer at the hands of a “habit” which is increasingly portrayed in ways that are comparable to a drinking addiction in a book about early-20th century Ireland.
Being “a gamer,” being someone who defines himself as “a gamer,” I take real offense at being automatically categorized as an underachieving, basement-dwelling psychopath who neglects his personal life, hygiene, and health so that he can pretend to be an elf in a chainmail bikini, simply because I really enjoy playing online games. I am a 23-year old, fiercely independent, highly ambitious, borderline Republican college graduate who worked hard for five years to earn his degree in business. I consider myself to be professional, courteous, confident, capable, and honest. I have high expectations for both myself and others, because I believe that people are inherently good and that we are all capable of doing more to make the places we live better than when we found them. I’m passionate about everything I believe in, I love videogames, and I don’t think I’m half-bad at writing (your mileage may vary).
I can tie a tie, write the code for a webpage, cook a good meal, beat you at racquetball, jump your car, fix a door, help you with your math homework, explain the major themes in Joyce’s writing, do your taxes, organize a team, make you a sculpture, or show you how to throw a football properly. All of those things are made totally irrelevant in most social circles by the simple admission that I play World of Warcraft (among other games) in excess of 15 hours per week, most weeks. Even worse, I spend almost as much time writing about online games, and a lot more than that thinking about what I’m going to write (or what would be interesting to write).
Unfortunately, I know exactly where that stereotype comes from. I was pretty much a textbook nerd in high school (I still am a nerd; just a cooler, more confident one), and I’ve met and known lots of people who fit the asshat, super-sexist, immature, unprofessional gaming profile typified by the Kotaku-loving goonsquad-style trolls, malcontents, and idiots who seem to populate gaming forums and guilds everywhere. I’m sure that was me, once upon a time (some people would argue I’m still an idiot, guaranteed). There’s something patently male and immature about that mindset, as much as it irks me to admit it. And even though I don’t think of myself like that, I wonder if my mere association with that, by virtue of my gaming, somehow cheapens me and everything I am in the eyes of the people whose opinions actually influence my life — the corporate recruiters, mortgage lenders, HR reps, and business contacts.
I’m deeply proud of the writing and the work I’ve done, here and at Ten Ton Hammer and Massively. It represents, in my eyes, a culmination of both my dedication to and passion for online gaming over the years. Not only do I get to write about, work around, and talk about something I love on a daily basis, but people care enough about what I have to say to actually read it, respond to it, and even pay me for it (as arrogant and silly as that might sound, it feels significant — it’s like a cultural acknowledgment that what I do has value for society, at some level). I feel both lucky and immensely grateful to everyone who has helped me, hired me, encouraged me, and continues to read me on a daily basis. The paycheck certainly helps, but I’d do this for free, as I have (and continue to do), because I respect the opinions of my readers as individuals willing to engage in a discussion, even if we disagree, and because I love writing about games.
But despite how proud I am of my blogging and my writing and my work as a news editor, despite everything I’ve learned and picked up along the way, I’ve watched those items slowly slide off my resume as I continue my job hunt. The first thing that slipped off was my blog. I thought it showed an ability to write consistently interesting and thought-provoking articles about a topic which inspired me, but I pulled it because I was told that including a blog on your resume is “unprofessional.” Then, I pulled off my Ten Ton Hammer and Massively jobs, saving them only for companies which I felt would “get” gaming or which were looking for a strong online media background. While I felt that those jobs showed dedication, professionalism, experience with online media, content management systems, and community interaction (as well as a healthy dose of professional writing experience), they’re still “tainted” with this idea of the proverbial online gamer that politicians warn us about and mothers fight to keep us from becoming. I sadly struck them from my resume, after a great deal of introspection and thought on the matter.
And now, thinking about it, I wasn’t just cutting “jobs” from my resume. These jobs are who I am! This is who I’ve been, and what I’ve cared about, and what I’ve worked for and on for a long time. I find it maddening that I have to conceal parts of my life, cut things I care about and jobs I’m damn proud of from my resume, merely because there’s some societal stigma surrounding the activity which I enjoy, which stems from an unfair and ridiculous stereotype attributed to “those who would dare to game.” What sickens me is that the responses from companies that I apply to has picked up considerably since I doctored my resume to exclude anything game related. I want to tell them, “I’m not a different person than the guy on the other resume! I’m even more qualified for this job than you think I am! I just can’t tell you that, because you’d think I was a loser when I told you the specifics of those jobs.”
While I’d be thrilled to get a marketing or PM job with a game company, I’d like to think that I could be successful elsewhere too, without having to hide the experiences and the things I’m so proud of. Is passion for a hobby and a drive to share my experiences and thoughts with others really so repugnant? Is my work experience that tainted, simply because some of the companies I’ve worked for have odd-sounding names and discuss videogames? I really wonder if it’s not my associations with gaming that have made things rough when looking for a job. Do I need to change who I am to be accepted in the “real world?” Maybe.
It’s a sticky wicket (the lot of it). All of these considerations, and far more, about society, status, what’s expected of you, and where I want to steer my life, are rumbling around in my head right now. I haven’t wanted to touch a game in over a week. I finally went back and had fun raiding with my guild last night on WoW, but it was fleeting and guilt-ridden, for all of the reasons I’ve discussed in this article. Writing, as I mentioned, has been even more challenging. I feel so disingenuous. How can I write about games, and be a voice for gamers, when I’m struggling with the very idea of being a gamer?
Maybe I’m taking all of it too seriously. Maybe I just need to chill out, kick back, have fun, and let life take me where it will. But, that’s not how I am. That’s not what I do. I think, I analyze, I discuss, and I act. I genuinely feel… something. Discontent? Anger? Frustration? I don’t know.
I want to do something meaningful with my life, and make the world a better place than when I found it, even if it’s just a little. If I can’t get anyone to take me seriously because of my hobby, even a hobby as fantastic, interesting, thought-provoking, wonderful, and engaging as my experiences with online worlds and the people I’ve met there have been, maybe I need to accept that. As proud as I am of everything I’ve done, I realized last week that there isn’t a single Random Battle, Ten Ton Hammer, or Massively article I’ve written which I feel that I can submit to a non-gaming related company as a writing sample, without feeling foolish. That rocked my world. If I can’t even point to something I’ve written to someone outside of my intended audience and be really proud of it, without having to excuse or explain myself, then what the hell am I doing? Am I wasting my time, or am I not? What do I really want here?
In closing, I was very hesitant to write this post in the first place. I’m concerned about exposing so much of myself in a public forum (although it’s not so different from what I do every day anyway, pouring my raw thought process out into text for your amusement and consideration), but in retrospect, I think I needed to do this. Whether this post sparks a lot of responses, or whether it makes everyone so uncomfortable (or annoyed, or bored) that they don’t want to respond at all, it was good for me to get my thought process out in the open. This is how I roll. I work through things, dump the raw text of my mind, and let you all tell me what you think.
Things have a funny way of working themselves out anyway, right? (At least, that’s what books tell me. Cross your fingers.)
Topics: Random |
May 29th, 2008 at 1:32 am
I totally getcha, sir. It’s really really easy to slip into groupthink on this, especially given the circumstances under which we work.
I’m sure this is going to work out for you - you don’t have to relax, but realize that it takes a little time to get things to rights. Especially given the economy, sometimes ‘going with the flow’ can end up taking you in the right direction by a roundabout fashion.
Wurd.
May 29th, 2008 at 6:32 am
I think the problem here is overanalyzation. I wasn’t steering you away from putting gaming on your resume because I think it’s going to paint you as a dirty, lazy gamer. I was steering you away from putting gaming your resume because I think it’s going to be seen as irrelevant to 95% of the hiring managers you come across.
Realize also, that I was mostly responding to the idea that if you’re looking specifically to put raiding on a resume, that adds its own connotations - even within the gaming community. I can’t swing a dead cat without smacking into an “evil raider” discussion on this forum or that. The majority of players not only don’t understand the amount of work and dedication high end gaming can take, but they also simply don’t care (at best) or may even be actively opposed to the idea of raiding (at worst).
Even in the conversations we had on the subject, you kept sticking with the social stigma part of the equation, and though I’ll admit there’s probably some of that in there, you simply can’t view a job interview the same way you would any other interview. This isn’t about “getting to know the real Cam” - it’s about “getting the real Cam a real job”.
For the record, I also recommend leaving jetskiing, World World II diaramas, and unicycling off of your resume as well. When I walk into an interview, I don’t start talking about my fiance, either (even though I absolutely would not be who I am right now without her), my family, my cats, my truck, which bars I like to go to, where I like to go out dancing, which movie I saw last weekened, my old MySpace blog, where I am on FaceBook, or which armies I paint/play in Warhammer 40K.
I’m not there to make new buddies or explain my worldviews. I’m typically there to present the professional “me” and to see if the position they’re offering is one that I can do and actually want.
That said, if you’re looking for a job that involves writing, you absolutely could use writing samples from TenTonHammer or Massively to fit the bill. If you have a particular article you like from Random Battle, you could use that as well. If you have non-gaming articles, you might want to consider finding a couple of those to submit as well (lest you be pigeonholed as a “game writer” only - much as some actors in Hollywood are only cast in particular types of roles).
The bottom line is I don’t go to work in a T-Shirt and jeans. I go to work in a suit. Does that mean that’s who I am? No, but that’s because I represent a particular company to a particular client - at a company, it’s not about who “I” am, but about who that “company” is. I’m essentially putting on the uniform they want me to wear when I represent them. I’m fine with that. If you’re not, then you need to find jobs that accept that your personal expression is more important than a particular company’s expression. After all, guys with facial tattoos need jobs, too, right?
It’s all a balance. You’ve got to strike the one that matters to you more. If you can’t change what you want to talk about in order to find a job, then you need to find a job that allows you to talk about what you want to. It will limit your options, but then again so do facial tattoos. You find those guys working at Pizza Luce on the weekends, not wheeling and dealing with high end clients downtown.
The moment those guys put that ink on their faces, they had to know it would limit their potential career choices…but they did it anyway. You can choose to be who you are at the workplace. I know at my job, there’s all sorts of people there - basically hiding under the surface - because we’re there to get a job done, not to talk about what we do outside of work. My coworkers know I’m a gamer, and they know I write about games and attend gaming conventions. I didn’t bring it up in the interview, though. It doesn’t make me any less of a gamer. I’ll still pwn you in CoD4 all night long, n00b. When I get to work though, I’m all business. It’s what they pay me for.
May 29th, 2008 at 7:25 am
Telling people you play video games is much like telling people you enjoy knitting. It’s slightly embarrassing, and even more so if you admit it’s your main hobby or you play 4 or 5 hours a day.
At the same time, those same people are probably wasting their lives in bars or watching soap operas, so who the hell are they to judge?
May 29th, 2008 at 9:34 am
I think Kendricke pretty much nailed it with above comment.
Having recently had to review/redo my resume for reasons I won’t explore here, I did mention my gaming blog, my Massively column and my podcast. I did so, because in the industry that I’m focusing on - digital media agencies - these activities are important, even if I’ve done them as a hobby.
Having said that, good luck with the job hunting mate. Knock’em dead!
CK
May 29th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Over-analyzation is what I do — especially when I’m in a slump.
Also, Ken, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all the comments, and I hope you don’t think that I’m upset about the conversation we had. I just brought it up because it made me think about a lot of this stuff more — I know you were talking specifically about the topic at hand, and not so much the wider context.
This post is the end result of a lot of thought, a lot of frustration, and a lot of stuff I’m still thinking about and working through (which is why it went up on the blog, where I work game-related stuff out).
It’s not just the resume stuff either… I’m not sure yet exactly what my problem is. I’m just frustrated. It’s not like I haven’t been getting responses from companies, either. I have a second interview today with a Marketing firm, and I have positive responses from several other companies I’m waiting to hear back from.
It might be more that I’m torn with what I want to do — I always kind of thought I wanted to do some kind of career involving videogames. But I also kind of want to go get a job that’s totally unrelated sometimes. I feel like either way, I’m making a choice that’s going to stick with me and influence the rest of my career. Hrrm. At the same time, this is probably (as you mentioned) overly analytical and dramatic.
I’m going to have to think about this more.
May 29th, 2008 at 10:41 am
I would just like to add a bit of encouragement here too.
The professional sector is hard, especially for creative types. We want to do things our way, and in large part, our society encourages that thinking as we grow up, but there is this strange wall we run into when we finally get serious and try to set out and get a job. We step out of college with one notion of how the world works and get hit in the face with the reality of finding a way to pay bills on a regular schedule while still feeling like we are worth something.
We look at history books and see the guys working in factories, rice paddies, etc. and assume that this cannot be us. We all want to make something of ourselves, do something important, make a difference. Most of us do, but not in the traditional way we imagine. We want the grand stuff (even if we say we want the small stuff) the same way most WoW players want better gear and to see bigger dungeons. We want to be recognized for our feats, to stand up to mediocrity and proclaim our intelligence and passion publicly. Most people do make a difference though, in a very quiet way. That man working the assembly line might be a wonderful father with a flair for story telling, he might go mow his elderly neighbor’s lawns every morning on his days off.
The very act of job hunting can be a huge blow to the ego, unless you happened to be bright enough or lucky enough to find a profession that has more demand for workers than there is a supply of applicants. The act of job hunting has easily been one of the most demoralizing exercises in my own life, and you find yourself stripping away your own standards (what you wear, what you are passionate about, what you do as a hobby etc.) bit by bit until you hit the lines you cannot cross and strike the bare bone. You find yourself looking almost like another person on your resume.
Once you get the job though, the world changes again. The job hunting process is not like the actual job any more than the guy on your resume is you. Both are bigger with far more dimension. You find co-workers who share interests, clients or customers who will chat your ear off happily about every little thing that interests them. You find everyone has a weird hobby or a strange obsession, and you all laugh about it and ask each other about it and tease about it. That is the other element. Respect. Decent human beings respect each other’s interests, even if they don’t understand them,. If they respect you enough as a person, they will genuinely be interested in your passions simply because of your passion, even if they don’t understand them. That’s all the acceptance anyone could wish or want.
May 29th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Hey bud. Not sure I can say thing more eloquently or better than what has been said in the excellent comments above but I’d like to give you my take on thigns since I have been there. First and most important, don’t place your personal worth in a dependancy on who cares about your writing. You are worth more as a child of God than this stupid planet
(ok, very nice planet, put the guns down) or than your writing or anything you can “do”. This is somehting you should know for yourself.. not something anyone can force you to know. And if you don’t know it I encourage you to get to know it, cuz its more improtant than secular people think.
Second I have been there, and I’m still there in a sense. I love games but I’ve given up on trying to be in the gaming industry and I work at a financial company and “polite society” as you put it is all around me. At the best their eyes glaze over every time a video game gets mentioned. At worst they picture some social miscreant like you mentioned. Or they get “that smirk”, if you know what I mean.
Anyways, as far as including anything gaming related on resumes it depends on if your applying at a gaming company or not. Same with your blog. If you want to be a forum moderator for blizzard or turbine then yes your blog would be a great thing to include. But if you just want to get a job at a boring company that pays good money and does normal hours, and game or make games on your spare time like me, then I don’t recommmend it. Fortunately I had good flash and jsp experience from a course making job in college. I’m sure you’ve had part time jobs and now you have a degree so I wouldnt worry about getting an entry level position somewhere. After you work for 5 years or so you can get a better paying job and so on.
Lastly I have written about this on my blog, sometime in April and its here:
http://thallians.blogspot.com/2008/04/httpwww.html
and the article I linked from gamasutra there is here: (a very well written article on this subject by a person trying to do his thesis on this)
http://www.gamasutra.com/php-bin/news_index.php?story=18133
Best wishes and prayers to you
May 29th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
I want to offer my encouragement. I guess you could say I am where you want to go. I have the engineering job and play my games in secret (at least to my employer).
I admire the fact that you write and get paid to do things you are passionate about. I wish I could write as eloquently as you and express ideas and (game) theories as well as you do. I love to nit pick the details in gaming (design, playstyle, mechanics, story, graphics, etc.). I come to your blog everyday looking for your expressions because I identify with them. I want to debate the issues, and learn, and then change the future for the better (in gaming). It’s like you said, you hope somewhere, some high level developer is reading and maybe might pick up on that one little thing that breaks the scene wide open.
In my midlife crisis, I’m attempting to head your direction. I am only doing the corporate job because it pays the bills. It’s not what I want to do in life. I’ve come to realize you can’t get to where you want to go with out hard work and sometimes a lucky break.
I said all that to say… Keep with your passion and find a job that suits your passions. You will be more happy.
Taking a break from gaming now and then to get refreshed is ok. Keep up the great work!
May 29th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
A few thoughts…
First, having written articles for work before, I know from experience that writing casually and writing professionally are often different — even when the material is basically the same. Professional writing comes with pressures and compromises that don’t hit you as hard on a casual blog like this. Writing might be something that’s better left as a hobby.
But don’t make that decision yet. You haven’t been writing your PvE series long, and any job (no matter how casual) feels different when you first start from later on. Unless you’re absolutely miserable, give it a couple months at least before deciding whether it should be a job or a hobby.
By the way, while I always liked your blog here, I’d be fine with only reading your stuff at Massively and TTH. Like I said, I’ve written articles professionally before, and I know maintaining a blog with similar content at the same time can be frustrating. (kudos to Michael for keeping it up so long)
Second, it’s important to keep in mind that these stigmas are not just with gaming. The division between the gaming part of your life and other parts is the sort of division that shows up in many other areas of your life. It’s human nature to be exclusive, ethnocentric, egocentric, and it’s often prudent (though not always the right choice) to reveal only selected fragments of your personality and activities.
You wouldn’t put service to your church on a resume, despite the good things it might reveal about your character. You wouldn’t put your political activities on a resume, despite the good things that might say about your character as well. In fact, people don’t even mention politics or religion in casual conversation most of the time, because people are generally more interested in smooth relations than in actually caring about and (therefore) getting to know each other. Afterall, religion and politics often represent a person’s most central beliefs, right? It’s why we live the way we live. Yet people don’t want to hear it. For the same reason, people generally don’t talk about hobbies that don’t fit the social group they’re in. Gamers often speak poorly of non-gamers, too. Almost all of my offline friends and family are non-gamers, and some consider it a child’s passtime. But it’s alright, because most people are that way about something or another, and sometimes they’re right about gaming and gamers.
Me and you are still young. If you’ve read Joyce, then you’ve probably read a decent amount, so you’re aware that one of the greatest challenges of youth is figuring out how to balance prudence with justice… balancing what is with what should be. You start to tackle that in teenage years, but I think that challenge is greatest during your 20s and 30s (after that, you’ve probably made up your mind one way or another).
The only advice I’ll offer there is this: Most people give up. Good living is hard. Life is so much smoother when you give in to injustices (part of every culture, in different areas of those cultures) and accept whatever people push on you (but remember that many traditions are good). The brave are humble enough to criticize themselves and look for errors in their own ways, but they also hold on to that stubborn desire for justice and truth that’s typical of youth. A person who lives only for himself or herself is dead already.
To live well, you have to accept that you’ll suffer for doing the right thing. In fact, the better you live, the more you’ll suffer. In the Firefly TV series, Captain Reynolds once said, “Men of God make people feel guilty and judged”, and that’s why you’ll suffer… most people don’t want to face truth or even their own lives. So you have to learn to handle it. Maturity is as much about dealing with what is done to you as doing unto others. That often means responding with charity and mercy when you’re being wronged (refused a job, trolled, ridiculed for your interests, etc).
There is no simple answer for fitting gaming and other parts of your life into work. It’s right for you to compromise and leave some things unsaid. What to compromise is the hard question that you must ultimately answer yourself.
May 29th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
It really is unfortunate, isn’t it? The way we feel we must hide our hobby to be regarded as an equal? I have trouble thinking of any other commonly held hobby off the top of my head that carries a stigma the way that gaming does. It is absolutely a result of a lack of understanding of the medium, despite the way it is starting to permeate the social consciousness. What people outside of the hobby simply FAIL to understand is that gaming is not exclusively for children. For whatever reason, non-gamers assume that every game created is designed for children, and thus devoid of any value outside of entertainment. Far be it for anyone in “polite society” to acknowledge the medium as an artform, or it’s potential for storytelling or teaching.
It’s unfortunately something we’re going to have to deal with for a long time. I try to fight it by bringing video games into intelligent coversation whenever I can. I mostly try to explain their value beyond what CNN tells people (murder trainer, sex simulator, etc). However, I preface most of that input with, “I’m a huge nerd, and I play a lot of video games, so…” I then immediately ignore any reaction to that statement and continue talking about my hobby.
Anyway, I do think you might be overanalyzing. Gods know I’m guilty of the same thing so I recognize it when I see it. Maybe video game writing will become a hobby for you. But I also know that you tend to burn out hard on some things and then come back to them with renewed vigor and enthusiasm. Maybe you just need a break? Take some time to do other things with your spare time for a while?
I know that I’ve also become exceedingly bored in the past couple of months with video games, partially due to the drought so common for the first eight months of a fiscal year. Maybe you should try branching into some different KINDS of video games? I’ve found GTA IV to be a rather rewarding experience…
May 29th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
I’ll encourage you, and quote this salient passage because I find it very telling:
“I want to do something meaningful with my life, and make the world a better place than when I found it, even if it’s just a little. If I can’t get anyone to take me seriously because of my hobby, even a hobby as fantastic, interesting, thought-provoking, wonderful, and engaging as my experiences with online worlds and the people I’ve met there have been, maybe I need to accept that.”
Or maybe it’s simply a problem of adjusting your perspective just a little bit.
You see a guy at a crossroads? Beaten and discouraged at how he’s been pretty much forced to chip parts of himself to conform to the big world and society in general? Maybe. I see something different. Just by reading that paragraph I quoted, I’m seeing the raw material of the guy whom in a few years could end up being the founder and first president of the American Video Gamers Association.
And don’t laugh. I won’t allow anyone to laugh at that. Every activity under the sun, even the light, ‘fun’ ones, has an association of it, made by the people who partake in those activities. Together, they form associations to discuss the problems and virtues of their respective activities, offer membership benefits to their members, uphold their rights when or if their activity is threatened somehow and generally put out the word that they are there, that the activity is there, are involved with their communities helping spread their activities and so on.
Carpenters have them. Electricians and plumbers have them. Tennis players have them. Knitting enthusiasts have them. Traveling salesmen and website developers have them.
Why can’t we have it, and why can’t you, Cam, work to make it happen? You are a gamer, discouraged about how the world views your activity of choice, and your fellow gamers. You can keep being discouraged, or work towards changing it. It’s up to you. It’s not that you lack the ability.
Where you see discouragement, I see the same elements and the same paragraph, and I see opportunity.
May 29th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
I have little to contribute other than this:
You write well and write about gaming very well. Your articles are the best thing on Massively right now and I look forward to seeing what new thing you have to write about every time a new post comes up.
This will be small consolation in the wider world, as your frustrations are entirely valid. But you do have an impact in this smaller community. So do what you have to in order to secure and improve your future. The community has your back.
May 29th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
take a deep breath……….. now consider this.
you are a product of how you were raised, how well you were educated, how well you have lived your life to this point in time.
you are correct, in that most non-gamers do not understand what online gaming is about.
ever think of why? I do constantly, having a wife that thinks i am a wierdo for playing online games for the better part of 15 years now,watches me play for 10 mins on occasion and asks “whats the point?” and I still dont know the correct answer to the question, but i do know one thing.
that “thing” is imagination, some people have it, some do not.
As a child we all, for the most part had avid imaginations, and then you got older and gradually you lost it. Alot of us though , remain kids in the sense that we still have imaginations, and dream of worlds where anything is possible.
In this fast food world nowdays, its hard to have time for any imagination, just the drive to succeed in life is almost enough to quash any sort of imagination one has thats off-topis as you will.
Therefore, take my advice, relax… theres nothing wrong with having an imagination, your atricles can and should be used as a referance , is it any worse than half the crap thats printed out there at this time? nope.
And , alas, as for having the “gamer” side of you in your resume, i’d have to say due to the percieved notions of society it would probobly be a bad thing at this time, but always remember who you are is the result of what you have done in life to this point. And for that at least, you should be damn proud of yourself.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
I was one of the people who advised against listing gaming on your resume. However, I would also say that your experiences at TTH or Massively ARE resume worthy. The difference is that both of those experiences DO demonstrate real skills. Whereas, gaming alone provides no evidence and is simply a leisure activity.
Now, that being said, I would avoid words like Warcraft or Gaming in the resume itself and focus on the accomplishments and tasks performed. The topic is not as important as “what you did” in this context.
The comparison I would make is this one: Let’s say that you are the Editor in Chief of PC Gaming, Golf Magazine or even some magazine about Surfing. Is that experience less relevant because the topic of the magazine is a liesure activity? No. Those skills are all readily translated to a number of different roles and it’s not wrong to state that on a resume.
Of course, you also don’t go walking into an interview talking about how much you like Golf or Surfing.
Instead, if asked in an interview, you simply respond by saying that you were fortunate to make money and support yourself in college writing about something you enjoyed doing — and leave it at that. That is an admirable trait and something that everyone can understand without prejudice.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Cameron, you should always be proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished. Never let anyone else define who *you* are.
One rule in life that I have learned is this: play to your strenghts. Heck if you are passionate about writing about games then apply to be a writer for a game company. You could easily land a job doing professional wiring at Blizzar or any other MMO company that is serious about finding top talent. It would be a shame for you to work in another industry that doesn’t suit you.
For my first job in the video game industry I put down my experience as a volunteer Senior Guide for EverQuest and my experience as a GM of a large WoW guild. In both of those positions I could definatively point to concrete skills that were applicable to the designer position I was applying for. I was damned proud of what I had achieved and I communicated it to them with passion and excitement.
I think gaming has come a long way these days and the stigma of being a “gamer” is vanishing. Any company that would penalize you for being a passionate game is a company that is out of touch with today’s reality and the popular culture. You don’t want to work for them anyways.
About a year ago I read an article in WIRED magazine where someone landed a very lucrative job because they identified the people and organizational skills they developed being a GM in WoW. Therefore, it’s completely relevant and viable for you to do so as well.
Good luck in your vocation whatever it may be!
May 31st, 2008 at 1:22 am
(Sorry for the typos in my comments)
June 2nd, 2008 at 6:15 pm
I don’t mean to be a dick, but, you spend far too much time gaming, thinking about gaming, and writing about gaming.
I find the fact that you actually have a personal blog, on top of all the blogging I’ve witnessed, disturbing. Frankly it’s tyranny, and foisting it on unsuspecting potential employers is probably unconstitutional.
My advice? Anticipate insurrection.
As an aside, you’re writing would benefit enormously if you would work at practicing a more compact style.
June 2nd, 2008 at 6:43 pm
I probably do spend too much time on those activities. But I don’t know what else I’d spend my time doing. I mean, it’s not like any of it has been time wasted (in my opinion). I’ve enjoyed my gaming as much as (and probably more than) any other activity I’d be doing with that time, and it’s more engaging than television. As for the thinking and the writing, I can’t really call that wasted time either since it turned into a job that’s paying the bills right now.
I don’t quite understand what you mean with the insurrection thing, unless you mean that all of the blogging will eventually blow up and I won’t want to do any of it?
As for the aside, I get that a lot. It’s something I’m working on.
June 16th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
[...] upon thousands of hours that we sink into gaming. It’s certainly a question I’ve asked myself on numerous [...]