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Comment Carnage: Arguing and Blogging On The Internet
By Cameron Sorden | March 24, 2008
Today’s post is less about games, and more about the community that surrounds them. In particular, blogs and comments. While there are a lot of people who just play the games and then walk away from the computer, there are a significant number of people who participate in forums and a smaller number of people who actively read and participate in gaming blogs (I’m guessing the blog readers are in the .01% of the 1% who read forums– or less).
Still, that .01% is a decently sized group of people. Enough that there’s a whole army of bloggers out there ready and willing to pour their hearts out to you in a series of opinions, rants, news, reviews, interviews, features, analyses, and rumors. We post because we care about the games we play, because we like discussion, because we have strong opinions and we need to share them, because we like the attention, and because maybe, just maybe, there are wise old men in expensive suits smoking cigars in darkened rooms somewhere, stroking their beards thoughtfully while reading our latest complaint about the WoW endgame and thinking, “My my, the man is on to something. We should use our vast array of power and resources to make the changes he recommends. Get me the smoking man on the phone! Wait, I am the smoking man! Get me a phone, stat!”
Of course, that’s ridiculous. In fact, the first thing you learn once you’ve spent any time on the internet is that everyone has an opinion, and yours matters just as much as theirs (in that it doesn’t matter). The second unfortunate truth that you quickly learn about the internet is that no one cares what you think. Over time, you might develop a core audience of dedicated readers who respect you (and vice versa), and that’s about the best you can hope for. If you’ve achieved that, you can call yourself a successful blogger, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
However, any time you start posting your opinions on the internet, there will always be people ready and willing to tell you how wrong you are. In fact, the more people you can get to read your posts, the more people will leap out and tell you just how maddeningly wrong you are (especially if you take a strong stance on something). It’s much easier to find these people on a forum, but they’ll also come to your blog if sufficiently motivated. We’ve all been this person at one point or another, and we’ve all suffered at the hands of this person.
The reason I’m posting about this is because I got sucked into a trollish discussion on a forum this weekend, where someone criticized an article I wrote using what were (in my opinion) flawed arguments. Of course, in his opinion, my arguments were flawed. I attempted to defend my argument, and got the expected backlash. I really should have known better and walked away from the argument, but that’s the internet, right? I could talk about the specifics and make some kind of self-righteous post about the morons lurking in every corner of the internet, but that would be silly. Instead, I wanted to discuss the issue with the rest of you.
What do you do when someone attacks your opinions? My first, knee-jerk reaction is always anger. I get all lathered up and prepare to write a scathing retort that rebuts their points, wittily insults them, and proves to all the world how I am right and they are wrong. Sometimes, I do that (and usually end up looking foolish). More often, I cool down a bit and try to really listen to what they’re saying. Personally, when I see a flame war going on, I have a lot more respect for a person who at least acknowledges the arguments made by whomever is criticizing them and is somewhat respectful. I think it’s very important to do that. In my experience, the people who you care about are more likely to judge you by what you say than what people say to you.
I try to keep my blog censorship-free. As long as people don’t use excessive profanity and have a point to make, I believe it’s important to let people criticize you. After all, we’re all sharing opinions here. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m often wrong, once I’ve had some time to think about it. It frequently gets pointed out to me, and I do my best to learn from those times. I’m not going to pretend that the point of my writing is to learn from others (that would be a lie), but that’s certainly a part of it. Even people who strongly disagree with you have a point to make, and I think it’s important to consider it.
So the next time you think about flaming someone mercilessly, feel yourself getting sucked into troll post response, or snarkily pwning someone who left a nasty comment, try your best to calm down, really think about what they’re saying, and be respectful. You might find that people who come out guns blazing are somewhat disarmed by the behavior, and you might even be able to turn an ugly situation into a productive discussion. You might not always succeed, but if you at least make the effort you’ve made the internet a better place for everyone.
After all, the best way to make an ass feel like an ass is just to thank them for their comments, move on, and let their writing speak for itself (it’s not like they can change their minds and edit it later in most cases).
Topics: Random |
March 24th, 2008 at 10:55 am
The guy in the picture is pure 1980’s.
Either:
1. He’s making a choice between an Apple ][ or the TRS-80.
2. He’s answering my question in the Sears furniture department.
3. Trying to sell a yellow pages phone book ad supplement cover.
4. Or the Strip-O-Gram showed up at work lunch.
(Thanks for your comments.)
March 24th, 2008 at 11:00 am
You’d be amazed at how hard it is to find a good picture of a wise-looking, suit-wearing, bearded man with a cigar that’s thoughtfully gazing off into the distance.
It’s so iconic, and yet, I had no luck.
March 24th, 2008 at 11:40 am
You know, Cam. Friday this would have calmed me down before I went medieval on a commenter’s post. Where were you then?
March 24th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Heh, sorry Bildo.
March 24th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
I think one of the best strategies for calming a discussion is to ask non-pointed questions. When someone’s being blatantly unreasonable, the problem is often that they’re riled up and in defensive mode. They’re thinking of you as the other side. Inviting input in a way that doesn’t suggest they’re wrong can occasionally convince them that you’re on the same side. Even the most unreasonable people are easier to talk to when they feel like they’re talking with you, rather than against you.
Good job on the cartoon. It summarizes so many of my sleepless nights (and wasted days).
March 24th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Aaron, you silly bastard. That’s XKCD!
You should definitel check it out if you haven’t already. His stick figures are great at disguising his real artistic talent.
Very funny man.
March 24th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Great post.
It often seems quite difficult in a forum or blog discussion to actually have a point / counter-point discussion. To, as a group, refine and argue a point, and yet keep civil. What starts out as a great debate often becomes intractable positions separated by a wall of hostility.
Sometimes it’s even difficult to poke and joke (in a friendly way, as I like to do sometimes).
Text and a limited array of smileys doesn’t communicate enough about the intent of the words to keep the communication flowing on hot topics.
March 25th, 2008 at 6:29 am
Actually I found that people who find your arguments flawed, disagree with your opinions, and attack them are the good guys. The bad guys don’t interact with your arguments and opinions at all, they go directly to personal insults. And Godwin’s law applies.
My personal nemesis are people who protest every time when I mention anything controversial, like RMT or politics, and make up rules saying that I’m not allowed to talk about certain things. That usually goes with the argument that talking about something without the strongest form of condemnation is the same as supporting it, which makes posting anything remotely balanced impossible.
So if I have somebody who just thinks I’m wrong and is willing to tell me why he thinks my arguments are flawed, I’m quite happy.
March 25th, 2008 at 6:34 am
Actually, I got Godwin’d in the thread from this weekend that I was talking about, but it was an updated version for the new millenium…
He told me that if I was going to use “such zeal” for my “unfounded arguments,” I should look into Al Qaeda because they’re all about zeal for their beliefs.
I was like, “Really? I’m a terrorist now? Thanks.”
But yeah, I’d agree. I’ll take someone who wants to disagree with my arguments point by point any day over someone who just shows up to flame.